It has been a tough week for us on the island my friends. EJ and I had to forge through some disappointing news and make due with it as best as we could. Of course, I am jumping a little bit...
Part of the deal with setting our "honeymoon" up this fall was that we would start to actively try to add to our human family upon our return stateside. Alas, this has proved to be more difficult for Elsa and I then it would normally be for most relatively newlyweds. Whilst the chemotherapy and surgery to treat my testicular cancer saved my life, it made my genetic material.... well lets just say not as viable naturally. Of course, we planned for this ... but now it means we have had to seek medical assistance in order to reproduce. In addition to being very emotional for both of us, it has been physically painful for my lovely wife (several hormone injections etc). However, we were super excited (likely overly so alas) last week as the date for an official pregnancy test after our first round of treatments was scheduled. Elsa was absolutely convinced she was with child and was already making plans to share the news with loved ones (not to mention buying baby things). While I was a little more cautious, I have to admit I was hopeful and excited as well. So it came as quite a blow to both of us, when the tests did not pan out. Initially, the results were equivocal but soon it became evident that the first round had been unsuccessful. Let me tell you it was quite a blow! I was sad and disappointed, but my reaction was nothing compared to my poor wife. She was hopped up on artificial hormones and had gotten herself so excited that the negative results sent her into a tailspin of sadness. She could not help blaming herself (which is ridiculous) and thinking of the roughly 33 million different possibilities that were not meant to be this time.
Of course, as many who have been through this before know. Failure (at least initially) is often to be expected. Successful conception even with the best technology is only about 25% at our age. We need to be blessed with patience and perseverance if we are to succeed. All of this is good to say and even to believe, but it is hard to follow through with in the energy of the moment. Still, we will clearly have to temper our expectations next time. Elsa's body needs to recover so it won't be for another couple of months, before we ride this roller coaster again (just wait until you see how nervous I get about he/she growing healthily if it is successful).
I could not wait until then to try and cheer up my wife though. It was just too hard to see her in such pain. So I decided to create a day where we could revel in being DINKs (Double income no kids) for a little while longer. That's right my friends... we went to New York city.
It is a strange testimony to our relationship that the way we celebrate our freedom is to act like kids again. No ... not teenagers, not college students, young kids! We went to the Natural History museum (of which we are members) for a fun day of science and knowledge. Between a trip to the planetarium and exhibits about the world's largest dinosaurs we sure had a great time. Elsa was like a kid in a candy shop and I had a lot of fun too.
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| Sippy cups at the theater! |
We were not finished after that though ... we had a lovely dinner before seeing Rain in concert. There is nothing to bring us back to our youth then the Beatles. After all, who can't remember driving around with their parents as kids with the Beatles on in the background. All in all a great day ... was it enough to soothe our sadness? Temporarily yes... but our journey will continue. So if you see me eating special vitamins or buying fertility lights ... well don't laugh too much.
adios
Z
